PIVOT: Resilience (Part Two)

PIVOT: Resilience by Christine Barnes

This is the second part of a multi-part series. Catch up with Part One: Release before reading today’s post.

Ah, resilience. What kind of story would this be if it didn’t include a good ol’ fashioned tale of overcoming hardships and roadblocks?

I knew my life and level of resiliency was not the norm when my current coach commented about the number of big life changes I had experienced in the span of three years. My list included seven major turning points whereas most of her previous clients were in the range of two to three. This most recent transition would make for lucky number eight since 2015.

All I’ve known aside from the necessity of work is that resilience is required if I want to live the life I’ve envisioned for myself. Truth be told, I’d need resilience and determination to carry on after such major life changes especially when it felt like life wasn’t necessarily happening in my favor.

What I’ve come to realize is that while my ability to always bounce back from these challenges and unexpected obstacles was gaining strength, so to was my acceptance and tolerance for the BS that just no longer lit me up.

The thing I had accepted whether I was ready to recognize it or not was remaining in a job that was neither fulfilling nor beneficial. Sure, I had learned a lot in my almost two years, but I was also willingly subjecting myself to subpar pay, life without health insurance because I couldn’t afford it, and an environment that was taking advantage of my knowledge and expertise with no raise or promotion of any kind in sight. This role also required most of my energy, focus, and time on any given day so whatever was left after a full-on workday went toward trying to create or knock something off my mile long to-do list.

My spare time, however, almost always ended in frustration for feeling stuck and berating myself for another standstill day. And, to be totally honest, this wasn’t the first job where I slid into this comfortable place while slowly losing myself and what makes me me in the process.

In the meantime, I had also built up a tolerance to the amount of negativity I allowed in my life. I’d been growing a business that supported others as they learned to set the negativity aside so they could step into their courage, yet here I was giving in to people and roles that no longer met me where I currently was nor the direction I was heading.

You are going to run into naysayers and people who doubt your ideas or ability when you are breaking the conventional mold. If your life matters to you, and it absofuckinglutely should, you’ll politely tell these people to kick rocks as you move forward in your purpose.

As badly as I was wishing for the miraculous opportunity to finally devote all of myself to this passion project, I regularly dealt with family and acquaintances who just didn’t get what it is that I was working toward. Their lack of understanding or acceptance would surface as concerns, judgements, and insecurities. All those thoughts and opinions were sometimes met with my internal voice that said, “You’ll never be able to make this work.”

Resilience requires us to acknowledge when things aren’t what we want them to be so we move forward either by overcoming or rebounding from whatever was thrown our way so we can then raise our awareness and our standards so we do not have to trudge across that experience again.

It was only a matter of time before I would reach a breaking point of sorts. Whether I was going to hit my limit for bullshit tolerance or some unexpected opportunity would make its way to me, there was an end date looming for life as I knew it.

The thing about resilience is that you cannot lead a resilient life without resigning yourself from some of the people and things that occupy space in your current life.


This is the second post of this series. Check back to see how this story continues to unfold with tomorrow’s post, Resignation.